Someone almost walked off wid alla my stuff.

This is my favourite Ntozake Shange poem and one of my favourite poems. Loretta Devine recited it in Tyler Perry’s adaptation of For Coloured Girls but my absolute favourite recitation of this poem is done by Alfred Woodard. I’ve listened to her recitation over and over again and she brings the words to life. I’ve posted a link to the video and have also written out the words. 

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There’s nothing left to die.

“There’s nothing to mourn about death any more than there is to mourn about the growing of a flower. What is terrible is not death but the lives people live or don’t live up until their death. They don’t honor their own lives, they piss on their lives. They shit them away. Dumb fuckers. They concentrate too much on fucking, movies, money, family, fucking. Their minds are full of cotton. They swallow God without thinking, they swallow country without thinking. Soon they forget how to think, they let others think for them. Their brains are stuffed with cotton. They look ugly, they talk ugly, they walk ugly. Play them the great music of the centuries and they can’t hear it. Most people’s deaths are a sham. There’s nothing left to die.”

How to avoid losing all your money

I was inspired to write this post after reading about NFL athletes who lost all the millions they earned during their career. It is inconceivable to most that someone who earned $80,000,000 in his career could now be bankrupt. Though a lot of people will never even make the amount of money these men have squandered, I figured the same advice could apply to everyone. We already know that we have to save and invest right? Well it is not enough to just put your money in an investment, there a few lifestyle changes you might have to make in order to avoid becoming penniless. Whether you are worth $1,000 or $1,000,000,000, here are some more tips on how to hold on to your money.

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Women and money

The other day my sister gave a man some money and in appreciation, he prayed for her. In his prayer, he concentrated on asking God to give bless her with a wealthy husband. I found that strange. Why did he not pray for her to be wealthy, rather than wish for her to be the wife of a wealthy man?

I have seen this happen time and time again. A girl on twitter posts a picture of a luxury car and in her caption she prays for God to give her future still non existent husband the money to be able to buy such a car. Girls pray for their yet unknown husbands to be able to afford first class flights, luxurious estates and a generally lavish life, rather than hope that they are able to fund such lifestyles themselves. There is nothing wrong with praying for your future spouse, or in wishing for a successful partner but don’t forget about yourself.

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The Lord giveth, and the wax taketh away.

I recently got a professional wax for the first time. Not only did I get my underarms waxed, I got the infamous Brazilian. Hair removal has always been a source of trouble of me because my skin is sensitive and is prone to bumps and ingrown hairs. Shaving just leaves my underarms a mess. Depilatory creams aren’t that much better. I have also tried epilators and self-waxing, all to no avail. I have not worn a sleeveless outfit out of my house in a long time. As a last resort, I decided to bite the bullet and go for a professional wax (actually my last resort was to get my underarms surgically removed). A perfunctory google search revealed there was a place nearby where I could get it done. I called to set up an appointment for the next day.

The general consensus is that waxing hurts like a beeyotch. I have heard tales of people drinking or drugging themselves beforehand to numb the pain. People talk about how they tried it once and were in so much agony they couldn’t complete the procedure and had to leave the spa half smooth, half hairy. I winced along with them, but deep down I thought it could not be that painful.

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Say what?

For a long time, I always thought it was pronounced pro-CARS-tination? I would type that in and wonder why a red line appeared under. I wondered why it was spelled as procrastination when it was pronounced procarstination. English language makes no sense, I thought. Turns out I’m the one with tissue paper for a brain.

This reminds me of when I used to say “lame man” instead of ‘layman”. I blame my teachers for this one. Ever since primary school, I swear I thought I heard my teachers say “How would you explain this to a lame man” and I always wondered why people who weren’t knowledgeable in certain issues were referred to as lame. It actually baffled me but I thought oh well, it’s English. And then one day I posted a comment on a friend’s facebook status, calling her a lame man and she cracked up so hard! I was soon rolling in laughter when she corrected me. Seriously lame man? Nah I have to do better.

Oooh I suddenly have a bunch of stuff to talk about. I’m sure everyone has sang the wrong lyrics to a song before, thinking it was right. Well I do this all the time and then I google the lyrics or listen really carefully and I’m like O_o.

First off Last night Diddy ft Keyshia Cole

What I say:

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Sad news

I hate to be so morbid, but there is just so much gore and sadness in the world. Topping the list of the horror stories I heard today is the story of an Indian woman who died due to complications arising from childbirth. That is sad enough, but the details of the story churned my stomach. The woman died because the head of her baby was left in her. Yes the doctors tried to pull the baby out and ended up tearing away her little body. Then they sent the mother home with her baby’s head still in her. The mother had to go to another hospital where the head was removed. Unfortunately her life could not be saved. When I read the headline of this story, I thought this is the worst thing I have ever and will ever read. I just wanted to turn off my computer.

Meanwhile in Honduras, a pregnant 16 year old girl passed out in a panic after hearing some gunshots. Then she allegedly started foaming at the mouth and her parents assumed she was possessed and took her for an exorcism (sigh). Hours later she was taken to the hospital where she was declared dead and was subsequently buried by her family. The only problem is that she wasn’t really dead and she woke up in her coffin, banging and screaming. Her family broke open the coffin and rushed her to the hospital, where she was again pronounced dead. The girl was three months pregnant at the time. How could this have happened? How could they have assumed she was dead?

I have a problem with the superstitiousness of people. A pregnant woman foams at the mouth and demonic possession is immediately suspected. The girl should have been rushed to the hospital immediately, not taken to an exorcist. It is just so irresponsible.

One common feature of both stories is the shoddy healthcare. The doctors (and the hospital) were not equipped to handle the delicate delivery which led to them botching it so badly. There is no reason for the woman to have gone through such a horrific thing, and for her husband to have to live with the losses. It is possible the girl from Honduras was in a coma, but she was still pronounced dead by the hospital. It makes me wonder just how many people have been buried alive. How many people have woken up wondering where they were, only to realise they were trapped in an airless box. How long did it take before they really died? How scared were they? How long did they scream for before they realised no one was coming for them?

I am sure poverty had a role to play. If the people in both stories were wealthy, then they could have had access to better healthcare. A father would not be mourning his wife and daughter. A girl would not have had to wake up in a coffin. The four deaths could have been avoided. Death is hard enough but it has to sting more when it could have been so easily prevented.If you have access to safe healthcare, consider yourself one of the lucky few. So many people do not have the privilege. If you are British, appreciate the NHS. It is so easy to take goof fortune for granted.

Rest in peace to the ones who died, and to the little ones taken away before they got a chance to live life.