I be up in the gym just working on my fitness…

…he’s my witness! oooh weeeee

After years of whining about how I want to be fit, I have finally joined a gym. Even more interesting, I actually go to said gym. As I write this post, my arms are protesting in pain because my triceps, biceps and whatever other ‘ceps I possess are sore. Workout pain feels so bad and so good at the same time. I like stretching and feeling a little pain in my abdomen.

I am what one will call “skinny fat” (I think). I am quite slim, but I am prone to bloating and this frustrates me to no end. There are times I could give a heavily pregnant woman a run for her money. My quest for the cure to bloat always leads me to the same destination: diet and exercise. Whenever I am tasked with working out, I think nah, I’ll just eat healthy instead. When I am faced with delicious unhealthy food, I think meh, I don’t need to diet, I’ll work out instead. Now I do not eat that much (although a few hundred people would disagree with this), I try to drink a lot of water (sometimes I forget, I am like a camel) and I kinda sorta exercise (once in every three months, and taking the stairs has to count for something). However despite this, the bloat persists, in fact, drinking water makes me bloat more. So I came to the magical conclusion that there is only one solution to this, and that is to get abs.

ABS, the muscular fortress that shields the core from fat and bloat. I feel that if I had abs, then I could eat a meal without having to suck in my tummy.

The gym I joined offers a lot of classes, which is why I signed up. I haven’t been to the gym itself, the place with all the machines and stuff, and I have little intention of doing so. The classes I have had so far are: Zumba workout, cardio combat, Bosu express, freestyle pump and circuit class. Other classes offered include yoga, pilates, box fusion, cycling, step, power sculpt workout, core, and a couple more. I intend to do all these classes, except cycle. I hate cycling.

Zumba workout: In this class, we do aerobics and dance to Latin American and Brazilian tunes. The dances are also inspired by these cultures, and so it is a nice workout. I do find myself stopping a couple of times to catch my breath.

Cardio Combat: Also taught to music. In this exercise, there are lots of kicks, and boxes and squats and panting, oh no that’s just me.

Bosu Express: This class makes use of Bosu balls to work out the body and help with balance. This was one class where I really felt my core being worked out.

Freestyle pump: This is the weightlifting class that rendered my arms numb and turned them into ramen noodles! At the beginning of the class, I was feeling hyped up and I took put on four 1.25kg weights on to the bar. It was okay at first, then we had to lie on our backs and lift and I tell you when this was over, I could not feel my arms. The moment feeling returned to my arms, I removed two of the weights and had a nice two minutes with my light bar, before the instructor decided it was time to switch to dumbbells. I picked up the first dumbbells I saw and two seconds in, my arms were screaming out in protest. My instructor took pity on me and went to get me the baby dumbbells. Whew. This class was intense. Definitely going for his one again.

Circuit: This is a 20 minute class that consists of five different exercises. It is a revolving exercise where you do one thing for about a minute and then move on to the next exercise station. We did three sets of this. It was difficult. Some of the exercises were alright and some were just hell.

During every one of these classes, the same thoughts were on my mind: getting fit is hard! Man I are going to be so fat when I am older and have children.How am I going to fight off the post baby weight when I am barely making it through this class? Wait, do I really even want children? Oh God when is this class going to be over, I cannot go another minute?

But somehow I survive, and I sign up for the next one. My body is sore. I literally groan when removing my clothes because my pampered arms are not used to this life. I went into this exercise plan hoping for abs, instead my arms are the ones getting all the work. My arms are fine the way they are, as are my legs and the rest of my body. Tis the abs I desire.

On the healthy diet front, I am failing miserably. I keep meaning to look up some healthy recipes and buy foodstuff, but I always manage to postpone it to another day. I could also stand to drink more water. What no one ever tells you while pushing the water diet on you is that you will need to invest in adult diapers. You drink a lot of water, you will pee a lot. Be cognisant of this fact, lest you find yourself dancing uncomfortably in a supermarket (happened to a friend of mine *looks away*)

I have yoga tomorrow. I hope I don’t have to use my arms for this, and I hope we spend most of the class in the child’s pose.

Namaste.

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