That which must not be said and other tales.

There is this word that is so terrible that not only must it not be used to refer to people it must also never been uttered or written or even thought of. How do we ensure that no one ever says it? By putting it in songs which are then exported to millions of people around the world, that’s how.

Every other day there is a controversy over someone saying Nigga (or the N word to the less privileged). Ninety-nine percent of the time, the controversy is not about a Black person being called the word, but that the word even left a non Black person’s mouth. Ninety nine percent of the time, it is about a person singing along to a song which has the word in it and having the audacity to sing the word along with all the other words of the song.

In the midst of the furor, two thoughts play in my head: 1) Why do people keep recording themselves singing along to a song that has the word in it? Surely by now you know it will cause chaos. 2) Are we really going to keep pretending that it is not dumb and fruitless to expect people not to say a word that is in a song available for everyone to listen to? Continue reading

The means to an end

I dislike hypothetical questions.

That is not completely true. I dislike ridiculous hypothetical questions such as: “Would you drink your mum’s piss for 790 billion dollars?”  and in response everyone goes “For that amount I’ll eat her $h@t too!” and they act like you are insane for saying no “What? you wouldn’t do it? For seven hundred and ninety BILLION dollars?”  Ugh shut up. Hypothetical does not necessarily mean unrealistic and stupid. Nobody is going to offer you a huge sum for something so daft.

One very common hypothetical question has to do with money vs happiness. Every now and then, a variation of  “would you rather have money or happiness” pops up. And every time the air is awash with cries of “money! money!! money!!!” Lots of people would rather cry in a Ferrari than on the bus.

I have always felt that this was a strange attitude to have; choosing money or anything else for that matter over happiness. Surely the main goal in life is to be happy, everything we do is in hopes of that it will bring us happiness. It is counter-intuitive to willingly and intentionally make decisions or change our circumstances without some expectation of happiness.

“Well can you be happy without money?”

Strange question.

We want/need money to buy things, gain power, freedom, choices and to reduce our stress. If the purpose of money is to be able to do things that ultimately make us happy, then we agree that money is a means to an end-the end being happiness. Now you have hypothetically been offered the means to an end (money) and the end in its self (happiness) and for some reason you have chosen the means because you think it will bring you the end.

It is similar to craving a carrot cake, and having someone offer you the option of either a carrot cake or a kilo of flour. You chose the flour because well can you make carrot cake without flour?  By doing this you are ignoring the numerous other ingredients needed alongside flour to make the cake. Hell you might not even need the flour. It just makes no sense to choose the flour because we think we need it for the cake rather than just choose the cake.

Money is so crucial in our lives, and to deny its usefulness would be foolish. Still it annoys me a little to hear people be so cavalier about happiness. This attitude is partly the reason that people roll their eyes when a wealthy person alludes to being unhappy. Oh please you are worth 40million, how can you be unhappy? If you are so unhappy then give me your money. This is even more evident when a wealthy person commits suicide. People are dumbfounded- but she was so rich!
Of course it may be difficult to feel sorry for someone who seems to have it all when you are struggling to make ends meet, but my point is that wealth does not translate to happiness as there are other ingredients needed.

Does it really feel better to cry in a Ferrari than on the bus? Or is it even worse, knowing you have a goddam Ferrari and are still unhappy.

Just a random rant that I usually have in my head.

 

 

Now the week is over.

The first week of the year has come to an end and we have embarked on week 2. Unlike most people who start out strong with their resolutions only to falter down the road, I did it the smart way by faltering at the very beginning. I spent the first couple of days thinking okay do I start drinking water now? When exactly should I begin my squats?  I was in a limbo at the beginning of the year as I had exams and did not quite feel like I was writing with a fresh slate.

Now I feel strangely happy, optimistic and relieved. I cannot pinpoint the source of these feelings but it may have to do with the fact that I don’t have exams for a while, and I have nothing outstanding from twenty seventeen. I did not knock my resolutions out of the park, some of them I haven’t even started but it’s all uphill from here. I got a little excited and downloaded three goal tracker apps. It is nice to document my goals but to be honest I haven’t made much use of the app.

Let’s see how I did on my resolutions:

  1. Drink at least three bottles of water a day: I did really well on day 3, okay on day 4 and then just reverted to my parched ways.
  2. Exercise (squats, abs, yoga)– Nothing.
  3. Do something interesting on weekends and hang out with other people-Knocked this out of the park. I had lunch with friends three days of the week and had dinner and the theatre on Saturday. Perhaps all this social interaction is why I feel so happy. I hope to keep this up and I am already thinking of ideas for next week.
  4. Travel the world-Hey it’s only week one!
  5. Improve my French-I spent 30 minutes learning French this week which is not as good as I want.
  6. Eat more vegetables-Done! Had spinach and peppers with my dinners this week and it was good.
  7. Learn to knit-Nothing.
  8. Learn to use chopsticks-Nothing.
  9. Take care of my hair-Well I have made a bit of effort. I still need to find a good routine that works for me.
  10. Try something for the first time-I ate food from two new places this week. I also went to the ballet for the first time.
  11. Write two blogposts per month. Here’s one.

And so on and so forth.

All in all it’s been a good year so far. I am beginning to realise that the key to maintaining my happiness and sanity is to ensure a good balance between spending time in my room by myself and hanging out with people out of my room. As introverted as I am, it still feels good to go out and have good conversation over good food.

Cheers to the new week. I hope it’s good and I hope to achieve more of my goals.

Hello 2018!

Goodbye twenty seventeen, as far as years go you could have been worse. I often had problem distinguishing between you and twenty sixteen; how many times did I ask if something happened in two thousand and seventeen only to be told it actually happened in two thousand and sixteen “Did Brexit happen this year?” Nope that was a year ago”. Now twenty sixteen is going to be two years ago. How time flies.

Welcome twenty eighteen, or perhaps you should be the one welcoming us. As usual I try not to have any expectations for the year but this time (for the sake of my sanity) I really need for some things to happen. As usual I am not doing anything exciting to welcome the new year. I am in bed trying to simultaneously study, sleep and watch television. I hope next year will be different.

Twenty eighteen, I hope you bring with you happiness, love, peace, laughter and answered prayers.

Bienvenue!