I tried to be good, I really did. Every now and then I decide to change my life and make better decisions; I will eat better and exercise more. I do it faithfully for a week until I can no longer be arsed.
I can be impatient and fickle. I practice a diet and exercise regime for a week and when I don’t immediately see results I think what’s the point? and return to my raggedy ways. I avoid dairy for a week only to be rewarded with a fresh outbreak of cystic acne? I am bingeing on all the dairy products I can find. I do sit ups every day for a week and no abs? Back to lying in bed all day.
My latest fitness foray was an attempt to reverse the disastrous effects of the lockdown on my waistline. I vowed to increase fibre in my diet, eat more vegetables, do two Chloe Ting videos a day, and increase my daily steps. I stuck to this for about a week, and now I am in bed gouging my face with brioche bread and butter, rice and beef, toffee sweets, and gummy sweets that I don’t even like. I am still bloated and my skin is still a cesspit.
There is also so much conflicting information. My initial research showed that a fibre rich diet was instrumental for weight loss so I went out and got all the fibre rich things I could get. Then I had yet another case of breakouts and uncomfortable bloating which I blamed on a cup of mango yogurt hence my derisive attack on dairy. I did more research and came across a health website that claimed that fibre caused bloating. I quickly closed the page because obviously this qualified nutritionist did not know what they talking about. A few webpages later and fibre does in fact cause bloating, leaving me confused as heck. The solution for one problem exacerbates the other.
Cystic acne is a new problem I really did not need. I did not even know it was a thing until my jawline was ravaged. Apparently this is hormonal which pisses me off because the life of a woman is plagued with these goddamned hormones from which we can never get respite. I thought bacne was the worst thing but of course things always get worse.
I am also looking into the possibility that I am breaking out all over, face and body, due to my laundry detergent. I hope this is the case so I can finally have some relief.
I am tired.