London day out.

Every now and then, I leave my house. It is so infrequent that I can compile all the experiences in this one post.

First I went to Fashion Freakshow by Jean-Paul Gaultier. I first heard of the show last year and was interested, but never actually got to go during its run. When I saw that it was back this year I was determined not to miss it again so I grabbed my friend and off we went! I had no idea what the show was about and therefore had no expectations. Tickets were relatively cheap so I thought hey, nothing to lose.

The show celebrates the life and career of legendary French fashion designer and Madonna cone bra creator Jean-Paul Gaultier. It starts from his childhood-we see little Jean-Paul getting in trouble for designing women’s clothes during class, to his first foray into designing. There is dancing, there is singing, there is nudity, there is beaucoup de fashion darling! “Anna Wintour” even makes an appearance. The show is colourful, flamboyant, camp, gay as hell and all round fabulous. My favourite part was a striptease by a voluptuous redhead. She was stunning and I was transfixed. I also enjoyed the contortionist. Oh how can I forget the fashion show narrated by Catherine Deneuve? That was also a highlight; the names of the outfits, the walks, the transitions, the actual outfits? It was a riot. I want a clip of that part on its own to watch over and over again.

All in all, I enjoyed the show and was happy I went. I even got a free condom.

From there, we met up with other friends at Chukus, a Nigerian tapas place we had been DYING to try for ages. After a lot of back and forth, we finally got to try it and it met all of my expectations. I love trying out restaurants, particularly those offer new and innovative interpretations of food. Some call it pretentious and maybe it is, but I love it.

I had tried to book ahead for another outing but I had to pay a deposit of £100 for 6 people and I decided not to. This time we just rocked up hoping for the best and we were rewarded with a table. The restaurant is quite small; maybe sits no more than twenty people. The vibe is nice enough, there are Nigerianisms everywhere, including a small collection of Nigerian books. I was happy to see that I have read most of the books.

My favourite thing was the cassava fries. As a lover of fried yam I knew I was going to love this and it met my expectations. The adalu (beans and corn) was also good which was surprising as I always talk about how I hate corn in beans. Growing up I hated when my mum cooked beans and I excitedly went to get a plate only to see corn in it. Whyyyyy? Turns out I was the dummy. It’s not bad. I ate it with the fried plantain mixed in cinnamon. The Sinasir & Miyan Taushe was a revelation. These are rice pancakes common in Northern Nigeria. We were not going to order them but the woman who took our order recommended it and I am glad she did. It was so good. The moin-moin was the cutest moin moin I have ever seen and it tasted good. The jollof quinoa was another thing I was not interested in but my friend ordered it and it was good. At the last minute I decided to order the caramel kuli kuli chicken wings because no one was picking up on my hints. It was nice enough. We also had suya meatballs (I generally do not like meatballs so I only had a small bite and it was alright. The sauce went well with the cassava fries), and honey suya prawns (not bad but not memorable.) The lamb asun was one thing I was eager to try but it was the most disappointing part of the menu; we found it quite dry. Strangely enough all the food we enjoyed the most were vegetarian/vegan so it turns out we could actually have a full Nigerian meal with no meat/fish. We had zobo and chapman and I finally decided on the age long battle (in my mind) between the two: Chapman wins every time. No contest. There was Nigerian beer and £3 glass bottles of water.

I was intrigued by the dessert menu and made my friends order one of each so we could try all three options. We got the yam brownie, chin chin cheesecake and plantain waffles. I was most interested in the yam brownie and it was alright but I couldn’t really eat much of it. Not for me. My friends however thought that was the best dessert. The plantain waffles just tasted like plantain but I liked the flavour of the ice-cream that came with it. I don’t have any memory of the cheesecake but I think it was okay.

Not much more to say, here are some pictures.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself and I am glad I did not let the rail strikes derail my plans. I had to go into London on Wednesday to stay with my friend as tube and rail strikes meant I would not have been able to get in to London on Saturday. It was a last minute hassle which was totally worth it.

This was almost a month ago and I have not left the house since.

Self-care

I have started this post so many times in my head, and it is not clear why exactly I find it difficult to sit down and write, given that this is all I want to do. Now that I have finally settled down to write, I don’t know what to write about.

I have been out and about lately; the days of working entirely from home seem to be over, and though at first I resisted this and was so aggrieved, I have to admit that my room had become an isolating prison which I needed to escape from. I spent three days last week in the office, and it was nice to be around other people. The introvert in me is shaken.

When I first thought about writing this post, it was because I was in a much better mood than I had been and was practicing self care (aka eating like a rabbit). I therefore wanted to write about the little acts of self-care that had made me happy.

I came across a BuzzFeed India video on YouTube and then went down a rabbit hole of their videos which largely centre around Indian food. Needless to say, I developed a severe craving for Indian food, particularly Parotta- a supposedly delicious South Indian bread. It looked so good (and stressful to make!) in the videos that I had to have it. I spent the weekend surfing through the food delivery apps searching for Parotta. I eventually found one place and placed an order. Of course I couldn’t just order the Parotta on its own, so I added some lamb biryani and butter chicken- which were also on my cravings list thanks to Buzzfeed India. Well I was on my way to pick up my order (I ain’t paying no delivery fees) when I received a call from the restaurant with the devastating news that they were out of Parotta and would I like some naan instead? Ugh. The only reason I made the order was because I wanted the parotta, now I was stuck with the rest of the order. I went to the supermarket and saw “Paranthas” which are the North Indian version of Parottas. Listen, I only found out about the South India/North India divide (?) a couple of years ago when an Indian colleague mentioned that she was staying with a South Indian family. India is a big country with a billion people so it should not be surprising that there is a vast level of diversity, but it was still interesting to learn about just how diverse India is, especially when it came to food. We are used to saying “Indian food” “Chinese food” without any thought that these popular food items are not representative of the whole country. Anyway I bought the paranthas and went back to pick up my order. There the man told me that I had to call 24 hours in advance if I wanted parotta. I am not surprised because it took an age on YouTube (it has to rest for 8 hours at some point). I went home and tried some of the biryani and found it to be so dry; I tried the butter chicken and did not like it at all. I chided myself for getting carried away by YouTube and now being stuck with food that I did not want. The naan was delicious though. The next day however, I decided to use some of the sauce and yoghurt that came with the rice, and eh voila that made all the difference. For the butter chicken I watched another buzzfeed India video, one of the girls ate a butter chicken wrap, which was the first time it occurred to me that it did not have to be eaten with rice. Just like that the order was saved. I enjoyed the rest of the biryani with the sauce and enjoyed the butter chicken with the parantha. That made me happy.

What else did I do that made me happy? Oh yeah, I went to see a play. I had to go into London for the first in person work training in over two years. I was not going to waste a trip into London so I also made arrangements to see a play and when I checked and saw that the National Gallery was just minutes away from the theatre I added that to my plans as well. The training was dull, but there were nice snacks and lunch was good (never thought I would enjoy tuna but the tuna croquette was excellent) so I was happy. The training ended early so I had time to explore- I spent some time at the National Gallery until it closed and then walked around taking in the sights and looking for somewhere to eat before the play. I settled on Chipotle because I like burritos and was running out of time to eat so just did not need any fuss. The burrito was alright, but the play? It was excellent. Muy bonito. I chose to see Dear Evan Hansen and will maybe do a separate post on it. All in all, I was happy. Happy that I chose to do something fun on a weekday. Happy that the play was so good and worthwhile. Happy that I got out of my room. I also really liked my hair and outfit that day so I was feeling myself all around.

This was maybe two weeks ago now. I should have written the post when the feelings were still fresh so as to capture the feelings. My spirits are still relatively high, but the familiar anxiety and irritation is creeping in. But that’s for another post.

Mademoiselle Privé!

The first time I came across the name Saatchi was on the dailymail, where Lord Saatchi spoke about his unbearable grief at his wife’s death. It was so heart rendering that I never forgot about it.

When I was invited to the Saatchi gallery for a Chanel exhibition, I said oui oui without any hesitation. The exhibition called Mademoiselle Prive (Private miss) details the life and career trajectory of the Matron Saint of tweed and pearls- Gabriella Coco Chanel.

I love Mademoiselle Chanel because she brought about a change. She did not like the clothes of the time, and so she changed it. Simple. No whining. No sitting around saying “Oh somebody needs to invent something that…” I admire that a lot.

All exhibitions at the Saatchi gallery are free, which explained the long lines. The queue to get in was quite long, similar to the queue at an amusement park, although not as frustrating. I finally got in and began the procession through the exhibition. There are about three floors (including the ground floor) and we could only go forward. It was a decent show, great value for my money (haha). There were lots of pearls, shadow animations depicting the dressmaking process, a beautiful indoor garden, display of exquisite dresses and a gallery of different stars from Vanessa Paradis to Lily collins (even Rita Ora). Speaking of Lily Collins, just how beautful is she?

A short movie starring a resurrected Coco Chanel and Karl Lagerfield was played on a loop. In it, Chanel and Lagerfield disagree about the direction in which the brand is going. Chanel is dissapointed in Karl’s vision and the direction in which he has taken Chanel. Lagerfield tells her she did not leave him much to work with and that he is under more pressure than she was. It was interesting.

The absolutely best part of the day for me was the gift shop. I was not even planning on going in because I didn’t think I would like anything and I hadn’t planned on spending money. Boy was I wrong. I wanted everything in there. From paintings to wall art to artsy memo pads and journals to a whole bunch of other things. It was a challenge to control myself, I was contantly picking things and then putting them back. I ended up with a Basquiat, and a bunch of post cards, most of them of Salvador Dali (I adore this man!). I am still surprised at the 180 degree I have done regarding Basquiat’s work. I, who once refered to his work as juvenile and overrated, now squeals in excitement when I walk into a shop and see an affordable piece of his work. Even though the first impression may be that they are childish, I now find his work so beautiful. Basquait’s pieces are just so distinctive, no one else does/did art like he did.

There is a Mademoiselle Privé app which allows people to have a more interactive experience and to see things they would not be able to see without it. For example, there is a door pictured in the gallery which opens when viewed through the app. The app can be downloaded with the free wifi offered at the gallery. I did not download the app though because my battery was close to dying, so I just surreptiously watched through other people’s phones.

The Mademoiselle Privé exhibition runs till November 1st. If you are in London, check it out, and other exhibitions at the Saatchi gallery.

This was part of a moving animation. Coco Chanel flitted in and out of the frame and the surrounding walls, telling a story of how it began.

“I invented the sport dress for myself, not because other women played sports, but because I did.”

When viewed through the app, the door opens to reveal people working. Cool stuff.

Have you ever seen a face so perfect?

I nearly lost my mind and all my money when I got to this part of the gift shop. I want them all 😦

What’s there to do in Lagos?

“There is nothing to do in Lagos!” is something you might have heard or said a number of times. I myself have ransacked the internet looking for interesting non clubbing things to do in Lagos. I have become that person who knows where all the fun spots are but never goes to them because of one thing or the other.

BOGOBIRI

The Lord giveth, and the wax taketh away.

I recently got a professional wax for the first time. Not only did I get my underarms waxed, I got the infamous Brazilian. Hair removal has always been a source of trouble of me because my skin is sensitive and is prone to bumps and ingrown hairs. Shaving just leaves my underarms a mess. Depilatory creams aren’t that much better. I have also tried epilators and self-waxing, all to no avail. I have not worn a sleeveless outfit out of my house in a long time. As a last resort, I decided to bite the bullet and go for a professional wax (actually my last resort was to get my underarms surgically removed). A perfunctory google search revealed there was a place nearby where I could get it done. I called to set up an appointment for the next day.

The general consensus is that waxing hurts like a beeyotch. I have heard tales of people drinking or drugging themselves beforehand to numb the pain. People talk about how they tried it once and were in so much agony they couldn’t complete the procedure and had to leave the spa half smooth, half hairy. I winced along with them, but deep down I thought it could not be that painful.

Lagos Tea House

The last time I was at the Lagos Tea House, which was also my first time, I went there for the tea. I then discovered their breakfast menu and I knew it was just a matter of time before I went back. Well today was the day.

I decided to treat my sister to breakfast which turned into brunch which turned into lunch. We wanted to get there early but due to circumstances beyond our control i.e we are lazy, we got there at exactly noon. Luckily for us the breakfast menu was still available. I ordered the Lagos Tea House breakfast which consists of two crepes, two pancakes, two waffles, eggs, two sausages, bacon and baked beans. I will admit I was a little worried it would be too much then I realised that I could do anything if I put my mind to it. #BelieveInYourself.

My sister ordered the Nigerian Breakfast and chose the yam pottage and beef.

Then we waited.

and waited

and waited

Oh look a grey hair.

And waited

A woman who I initially assumed was another guest came up to us to offer us some complimentary cupcakes to ease the pain of waiting. I thought that was nice of her and we eagerly accepted the offer. The cupcakes were delicious and almost put my mind off the fact that our food hadn’t arrived yet. Almost.

Then we waited

and waited

Keep in mind that it has been raining nonstop in Lagos. The air conditioning was on and we hadn’t eaten all day. Hunger and cold is not a pleasant combination.

The nice lady came back to us to explain that all the meals are prepared fresh and that was why the food was taking so long. At this point I began to give my sister the evil eye for ordering yam pottage.

The food finally arrived and it was worth the wait. The yam pottage was delicious, my sister only let me have one bite but it was good. My food was good as well. Ps: the pancakes are quite tiny so two pancakes is not too much.

We were very happy, all grievances forgotten, until it was time to pay the bill. On the menu it said that Breakfast came with either tea/coffee/hot chocolate or fresh fruit juice. Now to me that means that the price for the beverage is included in the cost of the meal. So imagine my surprise when I found out I was billed separately for each cup of hot chocolate. That is N2400 that I did not expect. I was not happy about this.

A different person might have argued and refused to pay but I just told them to change the wording on their menu and I let it go. I wish I was that different person. One thing I have learnt is that I can never correctly calculate my bill when I dine at Lagos Tea House. Something usually pops up.

All in all, the food was good and the service was decent. I will definitely go back for the porridge but I will be sure to take a snack with me.

Lagos Tea House is located at Plot 6, Admiralty Way
Lekki Phase 1, Lagos, Nigeria.
(The green building beside UBA on the way to Ebeano supermaket)

+2349035399385
+2348187934282

BLD

A new place opened in Lekki called BLD by play. I have been away for a while so like a magpie I was attracted to this new shiny place. The name stands for Breakfast Lunch Dinner. It is owned by the same people that own Play which is supposedly the hottest club in Abuja.

I went there for lunch with a friend. The space is alright, nothing fancy. We sat outside. Why? Because we were lonely and craved the company of flies.

I naturally expected lunch to be a la carte so I was surprised to find out it was a buffet. Even more surprising was the fact that the buffet was N2500, which sounds very reasonable compared to other restaurants.

Then I saw the offering and understood why it was so cheap. The food was not bad at all, I did enjoy it, but there were not many choices. There were about 8 dishes- two types of rice, fried yam, plantain, escalope potatoes, ginger chicken, gizzard, fish in butter and then salad and bread.

We did not eat that much but we liked the food. The jollof rice was good and the ginger chicken was absolutely yummy. I have no complaints about my food.

I ordered the virgin mojito and I got water with a few leaves in it. Thanks to the BLD team for keeping me healthy and hydrated. The mojito was N2000.

Interesting facts:

My friend got there before me and asked the staff for any time limitations. Customers have access to the buffet for one hour, after which they must get their gluttony arses out of the property (or maybe pay for another hour). It makes sense. For N2500, some people will sit there for hours and eat over and over again and pack food home in the containers they brought in the name of buffet.

There is  a lounge upstairs that is only open to customers after four pm (again according to my friend).

Breakfast is a la carte, lunch is buffet and dinner is both (according to a waitress)

Will I go there again? Sure. I would sit inside and order water from the jump.

BLD is located on Admiralty way, near Chicken Republic and KFC.

Food :)

I’m still in Abuja and  I was eager to try out a restaurant called The Charcoal. There is a Charcoal in Lagos and I was not sure if they were the same (they are not). On Saturday I was feening for some pancakes so my brother and I decided to have breakfast at Charcoal. I was all excited and dressed up to go when I started feeling ill. To top it up, my brother bailed out at the last minute, saying he was not in the mood as he had already eaten.

I was not about to let a little thing such as dizzyness, nausea and cramps keep me away from pancakes, so I whistled for a cab and when it came near, the license plate said fresh and it had dice in the mirror. If anything I could say that this cab was rare, but I thought nah forget it, yo holmes to Charcoal!

Out and about in Abuja

I am in Abuja for a few days and I decided to check out some of the things the city has to offer. On this fine Sunday, I grabbed my brother and we drove about town. First stop was Salamander. Salamander is a cafe, restaurant, coffee shop, whatever you want to call it. I first heard about it twitter. It was described as a peaceful, artsy environment and when I heard free wifi, I was sold.

This is what it looks like on the outside

Turn down for what?

Well Dah-lings, I have had a great couple of days.

I turned 21 on Sunday (whoop whoop) and I was determined to have fun for a change. My birthdays usually have me in a sea of boredom which in turn makes me depressed because I feel even if I stay indoors throughout the year, I feel my birthday is the one day where I should be free and wild.

So this year I decided to cancel my one woman pity party and plan my birthday for a change. I made a schedule for the entire month of April and also made a wish list of the things I wanted as gifts. I sent the schedule and the list to my immediate family and to my surprise it actually worked.

My actual birthday was on Easter Sunday and I organised a small lunch at Sakura- a Japanese Restaurant. We reserved the hibatchi room. I like (cooked sushi) but I am not crazy about Japanese food. I did however love the experience and everyone had a blast. The appeal of the hibatchi room is that you get to see the chef perform some acrobatics as he/she prepares your food in a private room.

Since I was turning 21, I decided to have my first drink. This is not a joke, I have had maybe 2 sips of alcohol in my life. I cannot stand alcohol so I always go for mocktails. However I wanted to live on the wild side and I also needed some courage for Karaoke. I love mojitos but I had never had the cocktail version so I ordered a glass. I gingerly took a sip, dreading the alcoholic taste. It tasted like a mocktail mojito which made me happy but also left me wondering if I had been bamboozled. I asked the waiter over again if he was sure there was any alcohol in the drink and he assured me there was.

My mother wanted to try the sex on the beach but for some reason she was too shy to say the name out loud so she kept referring to it as “number 44”. Hilarious.

Towards the end of the lunch, I felt I wasn’t buzzed enough for Karaoke so I ordered a long island iced tea. Now this one was potent. I mixed it with a little water and managed to drink 3/4 of it before passing it on to my uncle.

I was so nervous about Karaoke because I am not the best singer and the thought of going on stage and being booed and stoned with rotten tomatoes freaked me out. But luck and good planning were on my side. I got there in the early evening, before the usual crowd got there. We had the stage to ourselves for a while and by the time other people started to come we didn’t care, we were too hyped!

I feel Karaoke should be for shit singers only. All you WhitneyCareyonce need to go on Nigerian Idol and leave the Karaoke spots for us.

We had to order a drink before we were allowed to take part in the karaoke. We were all stuffed from lunch so we just ordered two smoothies.

The next day was Easter Monday and it turns out the fun wasn’t over yet. My mum invited all my family members to come over to celebrate my birthday with me. She hired a makeup artist for the second day in a row and we had a photographer there to capture our memories. I had a huge cake, which was really a traditional engagement cake that my mum converted into a birthday cake.

I would have uploaded some pictures but they all have family members in them and I am so private.

The last time I had this much fun was at my 18th birthday where I went to a water park and before that it was at my 7th birthday where I embarrassed myself by attempting to dance like a this girl who was a veteran at birthday dancing competitions. The pictures are hilarious.

I still have a few activities planned out for the month. Turn down for what?

Is it obvious I don’t get out much?